What I wish I Realized in High School: The Garland & Chain

       I can remember my youth pastor giving lessons on the importance of a good relationship with our parents. As a young, somewhat-rebellious, over-excited teenage girl; this is not the kind of lesson I wanted to hear. As a teen, you often feel as if you don't have time for your parents, or you simply just don't care. After all, they are "life-ruiners" and two people who ground you on the weekends. I could have titled this post "What I wish I Knew in High School" but that wouldn't be an accurate depiction of who I was. The worst part of this was that I did know the importance of a good relationship with your parents, but I never cared enough about it. Don't get me wrong-my parents and I had a pretty good relationship. Sure, there were times when I wasn't their biggest fan and I'm sure there were plenty of times where I disappointed them, but overall-we got along. I realized when I was in college how truly pathetic that statement was: "we get along". Was that enough? Was it good enough to simply "get along"? The answer that I later realized was, in fact, no. I did a quick glimpse at my life and attitude and I realized that I was not being the best daughter I could be.
     I found some verses in The Word about honoring your parents, but I think that my favorite passage comes from Proverbs 1:8-9 NIV
  
                       "Listen my son (daughter), to your father's instruction and do not forsake your    
        mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck."

   I love this passage for many different reasons. It points out the importance of the father's influence as well as the mother's influence, and ties them together in the end. I wanted to break these verses down in ways that I could better understand, and this is what I came up with:
  
                   "Cassie, listen to what your dad says. Listen and observe to what he teaches you, and use them to the best of your ability. Cassie, don't forget about what your mom taught you. Remember all of the life lessons and qualities she has shown to you, and don't forget to use them. All of these things will benefit you in the long run. They will stay in your head and it is your job to let them show. They will also make you a more beautiful woman who will need to stay dedicated to serving The Lord."

      I feel like now that I am accepting my role as a young adult and no longer a teenager in high school, I respect my parents more than I ever have. I recognize all that they do for me and for my siblings. I don't tell them enough how much I appreciate and am thankful for all that they do for me.
  
    The Garland (dad, doc, colonel, etc.): I am so thankful for a father who loves me as much as he does. Whether it is the random text messages saying he is proud of me, or calling me to tell me that he thought of me that day. He has also shown me how much of a treasure I am in God's eyes, and to settle for nothing less than that. I am thankful for all of the lessons he has taught me over the years: never to give up, strive to be my best for The Lord, and to serve those around me. He also taught me how to change my oil, but I am grateful that he does it for me sometimes so I don't have to. And though I never said it often enough, I am thankful for the time, sweat, and pain he invested in me when I played softball. He would get off from working all day just to come practice with me. He has also taught me how a man should love his wife. He does selfless acts for my mom and for our family all of the time. I will always treasure his instruction.

    The Chain (mom, pammie sue, commander pam): I know that I drive my mother absolutely crazy more often than I should. She has taught me so much over the years, and I hope to be as good as a mom as she is to me one day. Something that is special about my mom is that she doesn't even need to verbally "teach" me things; she teaches me with her actions. She has taught me to be a fighter, lover, and a servant of Christ. I always admired the way she would drop everything to listen to someone or care for them without hesitation. She always knows the right thing to say, even when I search for it for hours. She is probably the hardest worker I know, and I still have no clue how she does it. I have seen her interaction with my siblings in the past few years and I truly admire her love for her children and grandchildren. She has also taught me patience and understanding. She has shown me what it means to be a daughter, and serve in that position. She was at her mother's side for a long time while she was sick, and she is constantly at her father-in-law's side whenever he needs help. I know that she would drop everything for me if I really had an issue that needed resolving. She would be my shoulder to cry on. I have also seen her reach out to my friends and take them in as her own. I will value and take her teachings with me for the rest of my life
  
   Collectively, my parents have shown me what a Godly marriage looks like. They have ups and downs, but never cease to love God before each other. I love that my parents have never been my "friends". They made it clear that they were put on this earth to serve as my parents and not my BFFS. They encourage, protect, and love me. They are some of the biggest blessings in my life.

   I wish that I recognized all of this in high school. Actually, I wish that I recognized this in middle school or younger. The sooner you realize the importance of your parents, the better your life will become. I think I recognized it later in life because I saw the reality of the hardships and daily life as an adult. As a kid, you can't appreciate the way your parents drive 45 minutes away to come to a softball game or band concert straight after work. If you are in high school, take time to serve to your parents. Clean around the house (I still have to work on that one), make a meal, or simply tell them how much they mean to you. I still have a lifetime of instruction and teaching from my parents, but I am so, so thankful for all I have received up to this point of my life. They are my garland and chain, and I hope to never forget that.

           ^I keep this photo in Proverbs 1 as a reminder to always thank God for them and to pray for them. This is probably circa 1998 in Disney World

In His Forever,
Cassandra