Where Is He?

   It's the end of my semester. I am a Social Work major, which means I have to take a lot of sociology classes. One of my classes this semester is solely on problems in our society. It's crazy to think that I go to class for 3 hours to literally talk about all of the problems our world has. I'm surprised at myself for not getting upset and uncomfortable with the problems we discuss until now (after I'm finished with the class). At the same time, I completely understand my reasoning and the way that my emotions work. I just finished a research assignment about the social problem of child soldiers. This has been a cause that has tugged at my heart for about 4 years now. I have been very involved with different organizations that deal with child soldiers. Falling Whistles is the organization that started my heartache for these innocent children. Since I heard about them, I have been involved with their cause. For the last two years or so, I haven't been as passionate about it as I once was. I feel almost convicted that I'm not jumping at every new person I meet to say "Hey, do you know what's happening in Congo right now? Do you know what is happening to these children?!". I used to have that spirit and eagerness to share the devastating news with everyone, but I haven't recently. This research assignment really opened my eyes back up to the cause, and re-kindled my passion for it.
 
   As I was sitting down researching more about this topic (kind of hard since this is my third research assignment on this in two years!) I had a thought that I have never had before. I was looking at pictures, and remembering the tear-inducing images from the movie "Machine Gun Preacher" (a movie about a preacher who saves children in Africa from the rebel armies. Careful! It's rated R for a reason..). I just had these images flash through my head and I thought about how I haven't been as involved with this cause as I had been once before. I suddenly thought:

"I haven't been as passionate about this cause as I have before. But it still hasn't changed. The children are still being abducted. The women are still being raped. The two and three year olds are still being used as noise-makers and bullet-takers. This mass genocide is still going on."

   From that thought, I became instantly depressed and angry. Not only did I feel convicted with the way that I had just given up on this cause over the years, but I also felt that I had pushed it to the side while I lived my life. After thinking about that, I again had a thought and feeling that I truly have never had before (though I came close):

"Where is God? Where is He during this time? Why isn't He intervening? Why are these children still dying? Where. Is. He?"

   One could say that my emotions and feelings about these children in places like Congo and Uganda have intensified since September 2012, when my first nephew was born. I have since gained two more nephews and a niece, and my heart has learned to break more for children. There was a month period where I would wake up drenched in sweat and experienced anxiety because of a reoccurring nightmare that the rebel armies were taking my nephews. I decided to stay away from images and videos that had anything to do with child soldiers for the next two months, and to spend that time praying and crying out to God to stop this murder. I just didn't even know how to handle myself. It was probably during that time that my passion died down a little bit, and I started really focusing on my relationship with Christ.

   My feelings came back the other night, but luckily I think I had angels over my head to prevent me from having any nightmares. I was angry at God. I was upset. I didn't even know what emotion I was feeling. I kept asking myself "Where is He? Where is God?" and everytime those questions were repeated, I became more and more frustrated and emotional. 

   I knew that I had to draw myself to my Bible, and I knew I needed to cry out to Him, like I had done before. I cried out my questions to Him, and begged for forgiveness for doubting His presence. I guess it's just so difficult to believe that God is present in countries where the conditions are so terrible. I was brought to the gospel of John, in chapter 10.

                         "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." 
                                                             John 10:10 NIV 


   And just to be clear y'all, that is in red ink-so it is definitely important! I was shocked that I wan't brought to somewhere like 2 Corinthians 1-the chapter on the God of all comfort. I looked at this verse for a while, and then it hit me. This was Jesus talking during his time on earth-explaining that He was sent that us as sinners would live-and we would experience it to the fullest. This is also a promise to me. It's a promise that Jesus will return and we will have life with Him, if we choose to believe. To me, the first and the last three words of this verse are the most important.

                                             "I have come..."     "...to the full"

   Jesus has come! Through Him we are given our life to the full because of Him. I understand how my thought process doesn't make too much sense here, but it does to me. This verse was just the comfort that I needed. I needed to hear that Jesus promises us a new life. I needed to hear that through Him my life is able to live to the full. I needed to hear that Jesus gives life, and doesn't take it away. Here I am in my dorm, blaming God for what is happening all over the world. I needed to understand that God isn't making those rebel soldiers in Africa abduct children. He isn't creating all of the hate and hurting that is going on. If anyone-I should be angry at the snake-eyed Satan! I also needed to realize that God has a plan for everything, and does everything with His timing. And, trust me-His timing is the best timing. After my mood lightened, and I spent some time with the Father, I decided to make a list of where I could see God. Everyday life-where could I sense God's presence? "Where is He?"

I see God in:

• the flowers outside of my dorm
• the sunset walking back from my class
• the kindness of my sweet nephew when he comforts my crying niece and nephew 
• the giggle and smile of my oldest nephew
• the miracle and answered prayers of my nephew and neice
• re-kindled friendships
• the specific shape and darkness of the clouds before the thunderstorm last night
• the forgiveness that has been given to me
• the loving words from my family
• the beautiful weather that I've experienced lately
• the news that a family friend has recently become pregnant
• answered prayers
• un-answered prayers 
• the passion and life of other Christians
• the young adult Bible study that my brother and I attend
• The Bible; something I can look to everyday to hear the words directly from Christ be spoken to me

   I have one question for you this week: 

               Where do you see God? 

In His forever & always, 

Why You Should Put Your Clothes Back On & Respect Yourself (& Brothers)

  I have about 3 weeks left of my second semester of my sophomore year of college (what!!). As the stress and anxiety of the dreaded topic of finals comes up in my head, I immediately defense my own self against the negativity and bring myself to a happy place: summer. I can feel it already! I start my nannying job in June, which means I virtually have the month of May to let go and enjoy my break! I started imagining what my best friend and I could do with all of our "free" time. We have trips scheduled to go to the rodeo, picnics at the park, shopping trips out of town, and maybe even a cross-country excursion. As soon as I thought about traveling across the country for a vacation, I immediately thought of the beach. I don't know why, but I just sat there at my desk, thinking about the beach. Now, for normal people, this idea might bring pleasant thoughts. For me, it just doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the beach, but I don't love it either. If it were up to me, I'd spend my summer lying by a pool getting tan and jumping into the chemical-filled greatness. I hate the sand. I hate seagulls. I hate stepping on unknown objects in the water. I hate having to pay a fee to essentially lay down and/or go in natural water. I'm just not a fan. When I started thinking about all that I disliked about the beach, images popped into my head of overly-bronzed girls in bikinis. They're everywhere. In fact, it's rare to see a girl not wearing a bikini. And then I thought "My word, how times have changed." There was a point in history where it was extremely modest for girls to wear anything that came above their knee. Sometimes I wish times were still like this. In a society of Miley Cyrus's and barely-there clothing, I feel suffocated. I feel bad for people like Miley Cyrus because I have to imagine how little self-respect they have for themselves. This post is not to condemn, or to judge, but simply to explain my point of view on "modesty" and self-respect. If I'm honest, this idea was spurred on a few weeks ago by a tweet that I saw. Justen Harden's tweet on April 7th read:

             "Ladies: earning respect from a man begins with you respecting yourself" 

   I was so astonished reading this tweet. I looked up from my phone and yelled "FINALLY. SOMEONE GETS IT!" Ladies, this 20-something "Vine" star has nailed it. I wonder how it is that a 20 something year old man understands this and yet most women do not understand this. If you ever expect a man to respect you, you have to respect yourself. 

   You might be wondering how this all ties in with the whole modesty thing I discussed earlier. Remember that these are my opinions, and my take on these issues while I explain this. The only time you'll ever see me in a bikini is when I was about 4 years old and in the Bahamas. Ever since then, it's always been a one-piece or tankini. This has nothing to do with the way that I look either. If I had a body of an international super model, I still would choose not to wear a bikini. For me, there is no difference in wearing a bra and underwear and wearing a bikini. For practically my entire life, my brother lived in the room next to me. I always remember being so afraid that he would open the door while I was changing-why? Because I was afraid of him seeing me in anything but my clothes. I quickly realized that he would see girls in 'bras and underwear' every time he went to the beach. Or a pool, he would be surrounded by nearly naked women. Now again, I'm not condemning anyone or judging, this is just my opinion. Everyone is allowed to wear what they want-and if that's a bikini-rock it!

   There are different levels of modesty. If I were honest with myself, I would say I fall on the middle of the scale...maybe a little less than middle. Whenever I discuss modesty, people tend to think of head-to-toe coverings. I know that is illogical in today's society, and you would most likely get stares from everyone around you. I was just talking to my best friend about this topic because I heard someone say about skinny jeans being immodest. I think that everyone should be the judge of their modesty levels. For me, I think it's okay to wear skinny jeans..they're not so tight that I rip my pants if I bend over, but their not baggy either. Modesty also has to deal with your background and religion. Some religions don't allow women to show anything but their eyes, which is okay for them! I am a Christ-follower (Baptist if I had to specifically define it), and my religion allows me to choose my clothes. Because I am a Christ-follower, I choose to dress modestly. I choose to not show every nook and cranny of my body in my clothes. I choose not to wear see-through or skin-tight clothes. I choose not to wear bikinis. I am aware that others choose to do otherwise, which again, is alright. The point that I am trying to make is that a woman should not value herself by the least amount of clothing she wears. I saw an awesome YouTube video of Jason Evert explaining his point of view on Christian women and modesty. I encourage you to watch it here!

  Self-respect. I respect myself by wearing clothes that I consider modest. I respect myself by allowing a man to look at me and not see a lot of skin. I respect myself by allowing a man to be curious about me and wonder questions (like Jason Evert said in his video). By covering up, you are allowing your brother in Christ to wonder more about you other than your body. Don't give it all away!   If you question if something is immodest, it probably is!

  Instead of measuring my respect and value through sexuality or barely-there clothing, I love to reflect on what The Bible says about what a woman should be. My favorite passage is Proverbs 31: A Godly Wife. Here is a list that I comprised for myself on how to be respected and valued through God's eyes:
A Godly Woman.....

• finds wisdom (Prov. 3:13)
• has pleasant ways (Prov. 3:17)
• is a tree of life to those who embrace her (Prov. 3:18)
• guards her heart (Prov. 4:23)
• is motivated (Prov. 10:4)
• does not gossip (Prov. 11:13)
• opens her arms to the poor (Prov. 31:20_
• IS CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH AND DIGNITY (Prov. 31:25)
• speaks wisdom (Prov. 31:26)
• is kindhearted (Prov. 11:16)
• has noble character (Prov. 12:4)
• is not anxious (Prov. 13:25)
• builds up her house (Prov. 14:1)
• has a peaceful heart (Prov. 14:30)
• brings good (Prov. 31:12)
• works with eager hands (Prov. 31:13)
• has a good attitude and can laugh (Prov. 31:25)
• fears the Lord (Prov. 31:30) 

   In all of Proverbs 31 (A Godly Wife) it never mentions anything on physical appearance. It talks about braided hair a gold jewelry in a negative context. Sisters, let this be an encouragement to you. You are worth so much more than your sexuality. If a man doesn't respect you without that, he is not the one God has intended for you. I think that what Justen Harden was saying (coming from a man himself) was that women have to respect who they are enough to not  dress immodestly, and to not post it all over the internet. I often wonder why girls post selfies with little-to-no clothing on Instagram or Facebook. I truly wonder where their self-worth lies. I hope that all of my sisters in Christ (and me) will be encouraged by this to defy society's standards on respect and value, and strive to be the Godly woman that The Bible describes. 

                                                    Now about our brothers.....

  It's scientific. It's proven. The male brain is wired so much differently than women's brains. They are stimulated by visuals, where women are usually by emotions and words. If nothing I posted above catches your eyes or encourages you, please, please think of our brothers in Christ! Think of what wearing extremely low-cut shirts or skin-tight pants must be doing to them! We want to help them out as their sisters! We want to encourage them not tempt them! 

Our bodies are temples to The Lord. I hope that this has encouraged you, as it did for me just writing it! I will continue to pray for all of sisters that we would know where our respect and value come from and for our brothers that they would stray from the temptation they face everyday.

*Read what I've previously written on the amazing Justen Harden here! 

In His forever & always,

Perfection Does Not Exist*

I've thought about this post for quite sometime now. I would be comfortable saying that I've thought about it for almost a year now. I think that this is a message that constantly needs to be said, and women constantly need to hear it.

                                                    Perfection Does Not Exist.*

This is plain and simple. It's a phrase that I've repeated to myself one too many times, and yet I still fall to the trap of perfectionism. I understand it. I'm a 20 year old girl. I'm self-conscience about more than I should be. With age, I wish I could say it gets better. Now that I'm in college, I'm not only self-conscience about the way that I look, but I'm self-conscience about grades, social standing, money, work, friends, religion...the list goes on. You discover more about yourself and those around you, which leads to you discovering more that you're self-conscience about.

I read an article for my Psychology class earlier this week, and it had me completely in tears. It was a study that talked about college-age women and their strive for perfection and how they literally can deteriorate from the constant effort for something that will never exist. I wish it were easy to come to the understanding that I am God's princess and I'm very beautiful....Which is the truth, but it's not reality. You will run into things multiple times a day that can hurt you. As I'm writing this post, I'm listening to the song "Flawz" by Caitlin Crosby and I'm crying at how true the song is. She is a beautiful song-writer and Godly woman who put every girl's feelings into words.
  

                                                        "All my flaws to see

                                                  But you still love, love me

                                                        You still love me"

This is the simple chorus of the song, and yet it is still so powerful. We all have flaws. Caitlin mentioned some of hers in the verses of the song. I think that the point is that we have to accept we have flaws. We should't forget them, we should recognize that they're there, and we should love them. There is no such thing as human perfection, but God takes our flaws and uses them for His glory. 

"But He said to me: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

Our flaws are our weaknesses. Do you see what Paul is writing there? Jesus himself told Paul that His power is made perfect in WEAKNESS! His power is made perfect even with our FLAWS! To anyone who may be reading this, know that you are SO beautiful. We are all created in God's image (Genesis 1:27) and we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We shouldn't view our weaknesses and flaws as a bad thing, rather, we should learn to accept them because The Almighty Father accepts them, and uses them. 

So, sisters in Christ, we should stop striving for perfection. It just isn't going to happen. It's humanly impossible. The reason I put a star on the title is because perfection does exist, just not with humans. God is perfect. The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit are perfect. We are not because we are humans and we are born with original sin (Psalm 51:5). Instead of striving and straining ourselves with society's distorted image of "perfection" we should embrace our flaws and let Christ use them to His power and glory. Remember that no matter what you do, and no matter how many flaws you may have, God loved you before you born, He loves you now, and He will love you until the end of time.

That, my sisters, is the perfectness that I focus on. 

In His Forever & Always,

Cassandra