I have about 3 weeks left of my second semester of my sophomore year of college (what!!). As the stress and anxiety of the dreaded topic of finals comes up in my head, I immediately defense my own self against the negativity and bring myself to a happy place: summer. I can feel it already! I start my nannying job in June, which means I virtually have the month of May to let go and enjoy my break! I started imagining what my best friend and I could do with all of our "free" time. We have trips scheduled to go to the rodeo, picnics at the park, shopping trips out of town, and maybe even a cross-country excursion. As soon as I thought about traveling across the country for a vacation, I immediately thought of the beach. I don't know why, but I just sat there at my desk, thinking about the beach. Now, for normal people, this idea might bring pleasant thoughts. For me, it just doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the beach, but I don't love it either. If it were up to me, I'd spend my summer lying by a pool getting tan and jumping into the chemical-filled greatness. I hate the sand. I hate seagulls. I hate stepping on unknown objects in the water. I hate having to pay a fee to essentially lay down and/or go in natural water. I'm just not a fan. When I started thinking about all that I disliked about the beach, images popped into my head of overly-bronzed girls in bikinis. They're everywhere. In fact, it's rare to see a girl not wearing a bikini. And then I thought "My word, how times have changed." There was a point in history where it was extremely modest for girls to wear anything that came above their knee. Sometimes I wish times were still like this. In a society of Miley Cyrus's and barely-there clothing, I feel suffocated. I feel bad for people like Miley Cyrus because I have to imagine how little self-respect they have for themselves. This post is not to condemn, or to judge, but simply to explain my point of view on "modesty" and self-respect. If I'm honest, this idea was spurred on a few weeks ago by a tweet that I saw. Justen Harden's tweet on April 7th read:
"Ladies: earning respect from a man begins with you respecting yourself"
I was so astonished reading this tweet. I looked up from my phone and yelled "FINALLY. SOMEONE GETS IT!" Ladies, this 20-something "Vine" star has nailed it. I wonder how it is that a 20 something year old man understands this and yet most women do not understand this. If you ever expect a man to respect you, you have to respect yourself.
You might be wondering how this all ties in with the whole modesty thing I discussed earlier. Remember that these are my opinions, and my take on these issues while I explain this. The only time you'll ever see me in a bikini is when I was about 4 years old and in the Bahamas. Ever since then, it's always been a one-piece or tankini. This has nothing to do with the way that I look either. If I had a body of an international super model, I still would choose not to wear a bikini. For me, there is no difference in wearing a bra and underwear and wearing a bikini. For practically my entire life, my brother lived in the room next to me. I always remember being so afraid that he would open the door while I was changing-why? Because I was afraid of him seeing me in anything but my clothes. I quickly realized that he would see girls in 'bras and underwear' every time he went to the beach. Or a pool, he would be surrounded by nearly naked women. Now again, I'm not condemning anyone or judging, this is just my opinion. Everyone is allowed to wear what they want-and if that's a bikini-rock it!
There are different levels of modesty. If I were honest with myself, I would say I fall on the middle of the scale...maybe a little less than middle. Whenever I discuss modesty, people tend to think of head-to-toe coverings. I know that is illogical in today's society, and you would most likely get stares from everyone around you. I was just talking to my best friend about this topic because I heard someone say about skinny jeans being immodest. I think that everyone should be the judge of their modesty levels. For me, I think it's okay to wear skinny jeans..they're not so tight that I rip my pants if I bend over, but their not baggy either. Modesty also has to deal with your background and religion. Some religions don't allow women to show anything but their eyes, which is okay for them! I am a Christ-follower (Baptist if I had to specifically define it), and my religion allows me to choose my clothes. Because I am a Christ-follower, I choose to dress modestly. I choose to not show every nook and cranny of my body in my clothes. I choose not to wear see-through or skin-tight clothes. I choose not to wear bikinis. I am aware that others choose to do otherwise, which again, is alright. The point that I am trying to make is that a woman should not value herself by the least amount of clothing she wears. I saw an awesome YouTube video of Jason Evert explaining his point of view on Christian women and modesty. I encourage you to watch it here!
Self-respect. I respect myself by wearing clothes that I consider modest. I respect myself by allowing a man to look at me and not see a lot of skin. I respect myself by allowing a man to be curious about me and wonder questions (like Jason Evert said in his video). By covering up, you are allowing your brother in Christ to wonder more about you other than your body. Don't give it all away! If you question if something is immodest, it probably is!
Instead of measuring my respect and value through sexuality or barely-there clothing, I love to reflect on what The Bible says about what a woman should be. My favorite passage is Proverbs 31: A Godly Wife. Here is a list that I comprised for myself on how to be respected and valued through God's eyes:
A Godly Woman.....
There are different levels of modesty. If I were honest with myself, I would say I fall on the middle of the scale...maybe a little less than middle. Whenever I discuss modesty, people tend to think of head-to-toe coverings. I know that is illogical in today's society, and you would most likely get stares from everyone around you. I was just talking to my best friend about this topic because I heard someone say about skinny jeans being immodest. I think that everyone should be the judge of their modesty levels. For me, I think it's okay to wear skinny jeans..they're not so tight that I rip my pants if I bend over, but their not baggy either. Modesty also has to deal with your background and religion. Some religions don't allow women to show anything but their eyes, which is okay for them! I am a Christ-follower (Baptist if I had to specifically define it), and my religion allows me to choose my clothes. Because I am a Christ-follower, I choose to dress modestly. I choose to not show every nook and cranny of my body in my clothes. I choose not to wear see-through or skin-tight clothes. I choose not to wear bikinis. I am aware that others choose to do otherwise, which again, is alright. The point that I am trying to make is that a woman should not value herself by the least amount of clothing she wears. I saw an awesome YouTube video of Jason Evert explaining his point of view on Christian women and modesty. I encourage you to watch it here!
Self-respect. I respect myself by wearing clothes that I consider modest. I respect myself by allowing a man to look at me and not see a lot of skin. I respect myself by allowing a man to be curious about me and wonder questions (like Jason Evert said in his video). By covering up, you are allowing your brother in Christ to wonder more about you other than your body. Don't give it all away! If you question if something is immodest, it probably is!
Instead of measuring my respect and value through sexuality or barely-there clothing, I love to reflect on what The Bible says about what a woman should be. My favorite passage is Proverbs 31: A Godly Wife. Here is a list that I comprised for myself on how to be respected and valued through God's eyes:
A Godly Woman.....
- finds wisdom (Prov. 3:13)
- has pleasant ways (Prov. 3:17)
- is a tree of life to those who embrace her (Prov. 3:18)
- guards her heart (Prov. 4:23)
- is motivated (Prov. 10:4)
- does not gossip (Prov. 11:13)
- opens her arms to the poor (Prov. 31:20_
- IS CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH AND DIGNITY (Prov. 31:25)
- speaks wisdom (Prov. 31:26)
- is kindhearted (Prov. 11:16)
- has noble character (Prov. 12:4)
- is not anxious (Prov. 13:25)
- builds up her house (Prov. 14:1)
- has a peaceful heart (Prov. 14:30)
- brings good (Prov. 31:12)
- works with eager hands (Prov. 31:13)
- has a good attitude and can laugh (Prov. 31:25)
- fears the Lord (Prov. 31:30)
In all of Proverbs 31 (A Godly Wife) it never mentions anything on physical appearance. It talks about braided hair a gold jewelry in a negative context. Sisters, let this be an encouragement to you. You are worth so much more than your sexuality. If a man doesn't respect you without that, he is not the one God has intended for you. I think that what Justen Harden was saying (coming from a man himself) was that women have to respect who they are enough to not dress immodestly, and to not post it all over the internet. I often wonder why girls post selfies with little-to-no clothing on Instagram or Facebook. I truly wonder where their self-worth lies. I hope that all of my sisters in Christ (and me) will be encouraged by this to defy society's standards on respect and value, and strive to be the Godly woman that The Bible describes.
Now about our brothers.....
It's scientific. It's proven. The male brain is wired so much differently than women's brains. They are stimulated by visuals, where women are usually by emotions and words. If nothing I posted above catches your eyes or encourages you, please, please think of our brothers in Christ! Think of what wearing extremely low-cut shirts or skin-tight pants must be doing to them! We want to help them out as their sisters! We want to encourage them not tempt them!
Our bodies are temples to The Lord. I hope that this has encouraged you, as it did for me just writing it! I will continue to pray for all of sisters that we would know where our respect and value come from and for our brothers that they would stray from the temptation they face everyday.
Our bodies are temples to The Lord. I hope that this has encouraged you, as it did for me just writing it! I will continue to pray for all of sisters that we would know where our respect and value come from and for our brothers that they would stray from the temptation they face everyday.
*Read what I've previously written on the amazing Justen Harden here!
In His forever & always,
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