"I wear this ring because I'm waiting for my Prince Charming. I'm waiting to have sex with him until I'm married. I'm not going to give myself to anyone else except that Prince Charming. I won't even mess around like some girls I know. I promise God, and my future husband, that I will wait to have sex until I'm married."
Not too shabby for a sheltered and clueless pre-teen. My older sister gave me her old promise ring to wear, and from that day on; I wore it religiously.
***
If you are older or younger than me, you may not even know this, or remember it. When I was 14 to about 16 years old, the huge thing in pop culture was the Jonas Brothers. Not getting off topic, but I totally liked them before Nick (the youngest, the most talented, and my personal favorite) dated Miley Cyrus and their hit single "S.O.S" came out. The reason that most girls I knew liked them (if not for their good looks) was their innocence and purity. These 3 brothers were from a small town in New Jersey, and their dad was a pastor. For the first few years of their career, they all wore promise rings. They were simple silver bands that the brothers talked about publicly for a while. After constant criticism and jokes made about the rings, the brothers refused to talk about the topic. Years later, the rings came off. Kevin (the oldest) married a small-town girl, and the other two were finding their way into young adulthood. Nick chose to wear his around his necklace, but after their popularity diminished a bit, it came off of the necklace as well.
The point I'm trying to make is that, the time that I wore a promise ring-everyone knew about them. I think every pre-teen Disney star wore one at some point. I entered into a different high school, and people would comment on it. Girls would ask me where I got my ring from, how much money it was, and some even asked for specific details about why I chose to wear one. I must say, that it was a great liaison to a discussion on my relationship with Christ-which was great! I continued to wear it all throughout high school, and I continued to stay pure. I remember toward the end of my senior year, putting the ring on in the morning was a routine. My alarm would go off. I'd wake up, brush my teeth/face/hair, wash my hands, put on lotion and put on the ring. I didn't even think twice about that. It went on my ring finger, as if it were the plaid skirt and polo that was a part of my Catholic school uniform. People eventually stopped asking about it. As soon as Justin Bieber came onto the scene, the Jonas Brothers lost their popularity. And Justin Bieber didn't wear a promise ring.
***
As I entered into college, I stopped wearing the silver ring around my ring finger. "Why?" you may ask. It wasn't because I was ashamed of my ring. It wasn't because I hadn't stayed pure. It wasn't because I was ashamed of my innocence and lack of experience with "boys". It wasn't because the stress of college made my fingers bloat. It was because of some passages that I read in the Bible. It was because I started to really think about the reasons and why I wore that little ring that read "true love waits." on my finger. This is what I came up with:
1. The ring reads "true love"
-who is my "true love?" Is it some man that I don't even know yet? No! My true love is Christ! It always has been, and always will be. It's silly for me to wait for someone to fulfill me as a "true love" when I have access to the Ultimate Love 24/7-Christ.
2. Christ is my true love. Why should I wait for His Love?
- I should NOT be waiting for Christ's love! I should be RUNNING TO HIS ARMS and His grace! Since He is my true love, I should be embracing that unconditional, unfailing, everlasting love, and I should be loving Him to the best of my ability.
3. I'm a girl, and I can't wait to be a wife. I can't wait to be married. I wear this ring to remind me that someday, I will be a wife! My dreams will come true!
- This was most likely my thought process, because I still feel that way. I still can't wait to be a wife-SOMEDAY. When I wore this ring, I felt as if I was always looking to the future, and dwelling in the fact that I was single. Focusing on what I didn't have rather than what I did have drove me insane. It wasn't in God's plan for me to dwell on what He didn't give me instead of what He had already blessed me with.
4. I'm focusing all of my feelings and expectations into a human-a male. I'm looking at my finger and thinking about a husband, rather than my real True Love.
-When I wore this ring, I always thought about how great life would be once I was married. I was thinking about this man, who someday would "sweep me off of my feet and be my true love". I was looking in the wrong places. If only I knew that Christ would always fulfill me more than a human would, maybe I would have thought differently about wearing that silver band.
Psalm 130:5 (NIV) "I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in His Word I put my hope"
This is the verse that made me re-think my promise ring. It doesn't say that I wait for my FUTURE HUSBAND, and in MY FUTURE HUSBAND, I put my hope. It says that I should be waiting for my LORD. Of course, in this context-it was David worshipping to God that he would wait for God's instruction instead of his own. We should also be humbly waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
***
I don't want to condemn anyone for choosing to wear a promise ring. Like I said earlier, I wore one for years-and I don't regret that. As a pre-teen/teenager, I was very happy to wear it. It was an outward symbol of my relationship with Christ, and an outward symbol to show I was saving myself for marriage. I just encourage everyone to re-think who their "true love" is. Is it the idea of having sex with your future husband? Is it your future husband himself? Who is it? I didn't realize that mine was Christ until I was about 18 years old. I want everyone to know of this amazing, unfailing, everlasting, unconditional, undeserving love. Christ's love for us is one that we'll tangibly never understand. THAT'S how big and powerful it is. And that, my friends cannot be depicted on a silver band.
*Side note- I am also 20 years old, and I'm in college. Statistics show that I'll most likely be married within the next 10 years. I've heard from good and Godly men my age that as soon as they see or meet a girl they're attracted to, they automatically look at her ring finger. If I had a band on my finger, I wouldn't want them to get the wrong impression! The only guy I'm in a relationship with is my Heavenly Love, and I prefer to explain that to them in words rather than a ring.
In His forever & always,
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